During the promotions of Mr and Mrs Mahi, Janhvi Kapoor made a surprising revelation about her behaviour when in a relationship — she admitted to checking her partner’s phone. In a candid conversation, the Param Sundari actor said: “I know ki ye red flag hai, lekin main toh check karti hoon (I know this is a red flag, but I check),” she told the audience. When asked if boyfriends should be allowed the same liberties, she jokingly replied: “Nahi. Kyun? Vishwas nahi karte kya?” (No. Why, don’t they trust us?)
The foundation of a healthy relationship is trust and honesty, and as such, Kapoor’s revelation to Zee Switch, indeed, raises some questions about her behaviour in a relationship. While we look up to celebrities for advice and guidance, Gurleen Baruah, an occupational psychologist and executive coach at That Culture Thing, encourages people to be wary in this particular scenario.
“Generally, it is not acceptable for one partner to check the other’s phone in a relationship, even if they have permission. This issue is nuanced and involves several important factors to consider,” she told indianexpress.com.
According to her, trust is a cornerstone of any healthy relationship, and checking a partner’s phone undermines this trust and the natural leap of faith that partners take with each other. Privacy is essential, and invading these boundaries can cause lasting damage to the relationship.
Should you check your partner’s phone? (Source: Freepik)
Why should you refrain from snooping into your partner’s phone?
“Checking a partner’s phone can create a cycle of doubt and suspicion rather than alleviating it. This behaviour often escalates, leading to increasingly invasive actions and higher levels of anxiety,” Baruah said, adding that the habit of checking a partner’s phone can become an obsession, particularly if driven by conditions such as Relationship OCD (ROCD). This leads to a cycle of obsession, distress, and compulsion, significantly affecting both mental health and the relationship.
She believes open communication and clear boundaries are vital. “Instead of snooping, partners should discuss their feelings of insecurity and work through them together. This approach fosters a stronger and more trusting relationship,” she added.
How can couples navigate issues of privacy and transparency?
Navigating issues of privacy and transparency is crucial for maintaining a healthy balance in a relationship. The psychologist shared some strategies couples can use:
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Open Communication and Clear Boundaries: Establish open and honest communication to discuss expectations and boundaries regarding privacy and transparency. Agree on what information should be shared and what can remain private, ensuring both partners feel heard and understood.
Build and Maintain Trust: Work on building and maintaining trust through consistent, honest behaviour. Trust grows when partners feel secure and confident in each other’s actions and intentions. Address any concerns openly to prevent misunderstandings.
Respect Individual Space: Allow each other to have private moments and personal space without feeling the need to check up on one another constantly. Respecting individual space is essential for personal well-being and the health of the relationship.
Be Transparent About Feelings: Share your feelings and concerns with your partner. If you’re feeling insecure or anxious about something, talk about it instead of resorting to invasive actions like checking their phone. Transparency about emotions helps in understanding and addressing the root causes of insecurity.
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Checking phones has become one of our daily habits. If you, too, find yourself scrolling endlessly on social media, procrastinating on tasks, giving up sleep, and social and personal interactions, you may have fallen prey to what is termed ‘doomscrolling’ — a habit, experts say, might have implications beyond just your time and sleep cycle. Read on to find out its health implications and how to keep it in check.